You know the phrase people use “I cannot imagine life without kids”, I can’t relate to that. I did have a life without my little one, I lived it & loved it so of course I don’t need to imagine it, I remember it. There are days I even want it back. I miss that peace and quiet which is so rare. I miss the days of neater houses and more me time. But now I have this life and I learn to enjoy it a little more each day.
Having another one would feel like setting the clock back. I don’t know if I’m ready for it yet and honestly at this point, I don’t know if I will ever be ready for it. The only reason I would consider having a second baby is to give my first born a sibling.
I have 3 siblings of my own and I love them. I love how we have this unconditional love for each other. We have friends confidants and sometimes enemies in each other. We have the same crazy set of parents and it’s ok to laugh about them because they are equally all of ours. So will I be denying my boy these special pleasures if I don’t give him a sibling? Am I being selfish??
I don’t have too many people asking me when I’m having the next one, but I anticipate the day is not far away. In India it’s almost not an option to have a single child the question is usually when and not if (you are having another child). A lot of people do drop subtle hints, my husband well not such subtle ones! I always smile at such questions/comments and say ‘as of now I am getting used to the first one!’.
But at times I wonder why I had the first one. Of course I love him to no end, there is no contesting that but what made me decide to have a baby.
- My husband really wanted a baby, the experience of being a father.
- We love kids
- It is a way of life and we wanted the family to grow
- We were sort of ready to take this crazy leap of faith
Ok I’ve listed 4 things but none really say I wanted kids. Well, I do love kids. I have 3 younger siblings who I’ve practically been a parent to. I have a niece who I adore but truth be told I was always a little apprehensive about becoming a parent myself. It seemed like a huge responsibility and boy was I right!! But when I imagined my future I always imagined kids, yeah plural. Things are a little different now. I don’t imagine my future anymore, I live in the moment cleaning, feeding and simply chasing after my over active toddler!!
If you think about it, really think about it our reasons for having children are pretty selfish.
You want to start/grow your family
You want support and security as you grow older.
It’s the ‘natural’ course of action. Society expects it of you. Many a times we just don’t know how to be different.
I’m not saying these reasons are wrong BUT they are pretty selfish.
But then again I guess it is the universe’s way of over correcting. Because once you are a parent, you become this selfless human. Dedicating all your energy and resources to give them the best. At least thats the way it happened for me. And I love the lessons I have learnt along the way!!
I don’t know what would be best for my child. I don’t know if he will be happier with or without siblings. I’ve seen families with single children & I’ve seen families with many children, they all turn out fine. I don’t think there is an ideal number of children that would make the family happier one. As of now I’m happy showering all my love and attention to this little one. I enjoy watching him grow up, do things that amaze me everyday, perform the tricks I’ve taught him so I can greedily soak up all the praises from family and friends. I don’t think I’m ready to accept the fact that my time with my baby needs to be shared. I want to be giving him my undivided attention for years to come.