We mothers may pretend to be happy when handing off the baby to the father or grandmother, but truly we aren’t. We may let out a sigh of relief when grand mommy calms down the wailing baby but there is a tad bit of insecurity lingering around somewhere. Does the baby not want me anymore??? I have an answer to my question in about just five minutes when the baby will bawl and not calm down till I carry him – but foolish is the heart.
And let’s pay heed to the fact that this is not a phobia in new mothers but mothers of all age and size. We are highly insecure beings who will passively or actively make our presence felt to our children ALL THE TIME. We will gasp in disbelief (maybe not out loud at all times) every time the baby refuses to jump into our arms. We need to be their favourite. We NEED our baby to WANT us. We secretly take pride when people say ‘oh what a mama’s baby’. The mother in us is overwhelmed with joy, doing a little victory dance internally.
What amazes me most is how we become ‘mothers’. One fine day we have the baby and boom we are mothers. Well yes we do have the nine months to prepare but even then we are just pregnant, moms-to-be!! We actually become mothers almost overnight. Not just by ‘designation’ but mother in true sense of the word. We love our babies, care for them protect them with all our might.
When we brought home our little niece, for the first week or so I was scared to hold her. But with my son I felt no such fear. I just knew! He was tiny so, oh so tiny but I would hold him and change him with such confidence that I sometimes surprised myself. That’s the best part; we just know how to be mothers. I wonder if we unconsciously store away information on ‘how to be a mother’ every time we watch another mother.
The years of watching our mothers and grandmothers be mothers and then practicing on our various dolls; feeding them, dressing them, changing them practicing all our lullabies and nursery rhymes on them. Was that our training?? Or is it true that being a mother just comes naturally??